The C Word
Alrighty! Christmas Day is one of our federally recognized, legal holidays here in the USA. Ramadan, Kwanzaa, Hanukkah etc. are NOT federally recognized Holidays in the USA. Here are all federally recognized legal holidays:
New Year’s Day
Martin Luther King Day
lWashington’s Birthday
Memorial Day
Independence Day
Labor Day
Columbus Day
Veterans’ Day
Thanksgiving Day
Christmas Day
You know how everyone’s getting so stupid and freaking out whenever anyone says the word, “Christmas” these days? Because not everyone is Christian, so we’re not allowed to say it. So like, should no one ever say Martin Luther King Jr.’s name because not everyone’s black? Not everyone’s a civil rights leader. Not everyone gives good speeches.
How about Independence Day? Let’s not talk about that because we may have some loyalists hanging about or maybe some visitors from the UK who would feel really offended and left out and maybe even blamed for the war.
Memorial Day. That’s totally offensive to people with Alzheimer’s or amnesia.
Veteran’s Day. Well not everyone’s a veteran. Why should we non vets be left out?
Washington’s Birthday. Hey, it ain’t MY birthday! No one cares that much about MEEE!
Labor Day. Making people who are unemployed feel crappy about themselves.
New Year’s Day. If you’re Jewish or Chinese, it’s not your New Year is it? Nope. So I bet you feel offended and left out, right?
Columbus Day. Some people think Leif Erikson got to the USA first. So talking about Columbus is just a slap in the face to all those Norse people and their descendants who might be living here.
Thanksgiving Day is offensive to people who are really, really selfish. Not everyone’s thankful!
So like, if the reasoning behind not using the word “Christmas” is because we’re leaving people out or making them feel bad, then we gotta get rid of all these other legal holidays, too. Because getting rid of Christmas would be really discriminatory against all those other people who are affected by those other holidays. Don’t THEY deserve some consideration?
And why do we call it a Holiday? That means Holy Day. Not everyone practices a religion!
And what about Santa? His name means Saint and he’s modeled after St. Nicholas! Wassupwitdat?
San Francisco? Why’s it named after a Saint? Not EVERYONE’s a SAINT you know!
Valentine’s day — another Saint! It’s a conspiracy to sell chocolate! And not everyone’s got a boy/girlfriend anyway. So it just makes singles feel bad about themselves.
Father’s Day and Mother’s Day — not everyone’s got a mom and dad anymore. These days just remind those people of the loss of their parents and make them feel awful. You shouldn’t celebrate your parent when other people don’t even have parents, you know! How selfish and offensive of you!
Saying “Goodbye” should be outlawed! It means God Be With You and not everyone believes in God, you know! Man, all those unbelievers using AOL must go insane when they log off, eh?
If a day is federally recognized and given a name and printed on calendars — I’m going to use it! I’m not going to walk around past the tons of stuff that stores are trying to make money on and pretend that I don’t know what holiday they’re for! Funny how the stores are willing to call those products “holiday” products but they’re not willing to STOP SELLING THEM. Because you know, making people have to SEE that stuff when they’re out shopping might just kill them or something.
your Origami reporter,
Josie
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Topics: Religion, Politics, In the News |
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