Origami Election Headquarters ‘08 - McCain loses!
Hello everyone!
Well Super Tuesday Jr. just finished and some major changes have happened. Starting with;
Senator John McCain (R) has finally reached the number of delegates to win the Republican Nomination for President. The man is the man!
After a long hard battle, after crushing past rivals into the dust, after paying (allegedly) middle eastern assassins to rub out Fred Thompson (he’s missing) and Tommy Thompson (also missing; no relation), Rudy Giuliani was a plant to steal the thunder from Romney and succeeded brilliantly (coming in 4th & Florida was all a part of the plan) and buying off Romney with snickerdoodles was a stroke of genius.
McCain has beaten them all! He’s the American Idol of 2008! He’s the sole survivor! The million dollar prize is his, Probst is coming with the check! MCCAIN IS NOW A GOD!!!
Finally! I am so glad THAT is over. I was becoming bored with seeing McCain kick so much ass and yet his opponents did nothing but say, “It ain’t over, ’til it’s over!”
First it was Romney who refused to see the right crosses coming at his head and then Huckabee was taking the body blows and smiling like the idiot he appears to be.
But that’s all in the past. Former Gov. Mike Huckabee has finally conceded that he didn’t have a chance in Hades in winning, bidding farewell with the conciliatory, “I lost! Waaaahhh!! But I did win 2 or 3 states! What happened?!”
McCain could be heard snickering in the background and an anonymous source claimed that McCain did some stupid football dance when he heard he’d won and made the pledge to make Huckabee disappear for being such a chode.
But despite all the foolishness of Huckabee, let’s not forget someone hasn’t gotten the memo! Yes, I’m talking about Ron Paul; the Republican equivalent to Mike Gravel. 
Ron I want to put things into perspective, Mitt Romney bowed out because he didn’t have a chance. And Mitt was number 2, Mike Huckabee didn’t stand a chance either and he’s finally come to terms with it.
You really need to have a moment of reflection here, and don’t think for a minute being a total wanker is going to endear you to McCain, he wants to be president and you stand in his way. Bow out…
Speaking of Mike Gravel; After 45 consecutive losses has proclaimed; “His campaign has had some setbacks but he can still take this home.” No one in the press heard this of course since no one knows that Gravel dropped out months ago and someone forgot to tell him that. Does CNN even know he’s in the race? Is he in the race anymore?
Barack Obama after 11 straight wins the erstwhile Senator from Illinois had a case of the Huckabees when Hillary Clinton came from behind to win Texas, Rhode Island and Ohio. True Obama won Vermont (apparently there’s a lot more black people in Vermont than we knew) and yes he’s still ahead on delegates. But again Clinton proves that she’s in this for the long haul and she’s taking all the big important states. Someone needs to point this out to our friendly neighbourhood Senator. I think that if Obama was smart, he’d let the ol’ girl have it. She’s 60 and he’s 47, so he would make a great (I think unbeatable) candidate in 2016.
The delegate count now stands at:
Pledged: 1257
Super-delegates: 194
Grand Total: 1451
and
Pledged: 1127
Super-delegates: 238
Grand Total: 1365
Of course all the Obama supporters keep saying “do the math” and that she can’t win.
But Hillary has been winning since the beginning even when she lost. Hillary has much more going against her than Obama and she’s always come back. The problem with Democrats, they’re too greedy. Neither one would do the right thing for the cause, unlike the Republicans (Mike Huckabee & Ron Paul being the exceptions to the rule).
Obama played down the thrashing he took with a “I have more delegates! Naanny-naany na-na!”
But considering that people are fickle, all those Super D’s he’s been stealing (or they are defecting on their own, but I doubt it) from Hillary could easily turn around and support her again, if they think that she’ll win. I know Mr. Barack HUSSEIN Obama was hoping that he’d finally crush her last night and Hillary would get the message and go back to the kitchen. But that’s not about to happen.
Oh admit it Obama, you’re a man and all men think like that! You want Hillary to go away and you probably will smile smugly when (or if) that happens.
P.S. - Like how I added in the ‘Hussein’ there? I feel like a big time Republican commentator trying to dirty up the image of the unbeatable Obama by making people think he’s a Muslim terrorist.
All that’s left now is Wyoming (March 8), Mississippi (March 11) and of course the all insignificant Pennsylvania showdown of April 22 (just so that we can drag this process on a little longer) and maybe we’ll have some answers.
One last thing - In congratulating McCain on his win, both democratic contenders were noted in saying on the phone ‘they were looking forward in facing him in a general election,’ or something along those lines.
I felt that Obama was a little arrogant in doing that before the night’s results finished coming in yet. But Hillary did the same thing later and so I say shame on both of you.
I guess this whole thing will have to be stretched out for another month or two. Goody! I’m curious as to how this ridiculously convoluted system developed. Up in my native Canada we basically say “Election” and a month later we have a new leader. Much more simple.
Either way I’m sure whoever wins the democratic nomination will defeat John McCain easily. What Poor John doesn’t realize, he’s lost despite the fact that he’s won.
I bid adieu,
your Origami reporter,
L.Manly
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