Pregnancy is a Punishment
Our fearless, nutless wonder of a President has deemed pregnancy a “punishment.” I’ve even read what women say online about it and many of them also believe that it is a punishment. One woman said, “Why should I be punished for having sex?” Well, the same way you’re punished for being a woman by having periods and cramps. Let’s look at all the ways our biology might be punishing us, shall we?
- Menstruation - fertility gets in the way of all the sex we could be having and punishes us for being female.
- Hunger - another punishment, this time by our digestive system. Every damn day we’re punished with this, sometimes 3 or more TIMES a day. What did we do to deserve that?
- Defecation and urination - why does the body HAVE TO annoy us so? Doesn’t it realize that toilet paper costs MONEY?
- Disease - now isn’t all disease a punishment for something we’ve done, like the felony of BREATHING?
- Death - Being alive is the single worst thing a person can do, and therefore it receives the worst punishment of all!
- Shin splints - a punishment for running. We should be able to run without these painful punishments! Not to mention all the punishment to our feet.
- Sweat - Stinky, smelly, staining sweat. Punishment for being overheated. All that stink, the need for deodorant, shirts destroyed by stains, all because our sweat glands don’t get the idea that we don’t WANT them to produce sweat! Stupid sweat glands.
- Burping and farting i.e. gas - a punishment for eating gassy foods and fizzy drinks. We should be able to eat what we want without being punished for it!
- Weight gain - who wants to be FAT just because they eat like a glutton? Why should any of us be punished for what we choose to eat? We didn’t WANT the fat, we didn’t INVITE it, we just ate a bunch of fatty and fried/greasy high calorie foods. How DARE our bodies actually gain weight from what we choose to eat! We’re being PUNISHED!
- Hangovers - punishment for drinking alcohol. We don’t want the hangover, so it shouldn’t HAPPEN!
As you can see, the body has its own processes and will continue to do what it needs to do despite our protests. When sperm and an ovum unite, that’s a pregnancy. It’s not a punishment because you chose to have sex, it is a natural consequence to the act you willingly committed. You went into it KNOWING you could get pregnant. Now I can scarf down 50 bacon cheeseburgers and then take a diet pill and when I gain 20 lbs. I can blame the diet pill for not blocking the fat absorption and whine about how I’m being punished, but it was MY choice (there’s that word again, “choice”) to eat those burgers.
When it comes to pregnancy and abortion, some people have no clue what personal responsibility is about. The most important choice is whether you should have sex in the first place, not how to clean up the little consequence you have to face afterward.
Track your fertility, use 2 methods of birth control, have some control over your libido, and you should never have an unwanted pregnancy in your lifetime. I guess that’s expecting too much from people, though. Why should they have to put all that effort into being responsible when it’s so easy these days to be irresponsible and reckless?Just do what you want and whine about how you’re being punished by your body.
Maybe you can sue your body for breach of contract. Clearly if your mind is telling your reproductive system that you don’t want to get pregnant, it should obey your desires no matter how the human body is designed to function. And your heart should beat to the rythm of your favorite Beatles song, just because you WANT it to.
Good luck with that.
your Origami reporter,
Momo
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Topics: Sex, Politics, Health |
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